Happy Halloween!

Just a quick post to reveal my Halloween ensemble.

I decided to go as a baby prostitute from Toddlers and Tiaras.  Best decision ever.

In case you were wondering, the crown and trophy are legit from by baby pageant days.  See below.

What was your costume?

Tricks *and* treats,


Crime scene photos and unicorns: You will find both here.

Apparently I am feeling nostalgic with my birthday coming up this weekend.  Plus I just really love old pictures and looking at the ridiculous outfits I used to wear.  Let's take a peek at another batch, shall we?

Baller and a shot-caller.

Unicorns do exist.

I was pretty darn cute as a kid.  Not sure what happened.

This is the first time my Grandmother held me.  (I looked like an alien baby.)

Check out those permed bangs.

When I was a child, I was obsessed with playing Murder Mystery.  Clearly, this is a "crime scene" photo.  I was a morbid child.  Maybe this explains my obsession with crime TV shows and Dexter...
I'm still working on my Halloween costume.  I'd tell you what it is, but I'm keeping that a secret.  

I had plans to go out tonight for an early birthday celebration, but the weather is super crappy, and it seems as though everyone has already made plans.  Who know, I may end up staying in.  

Hopefully this weekend will produce some awesomely awkward stories.  I will keep you posted.



Blasts from the Past

I came across another stack of pictures last night.  Let's relive the glory days, shall we?

This is proof that I was never serious as a child.  Or as an adult, for that matter.

And yes, Mommy Dearest and I had matching dresses.  My aunt made them for us.  There were several more.

Toddlers and Tiaras: 1987.  Mommy Dearest entered me in and 18 and under beauty pageant and I won every category.  And then I ate my crown.

Holy fanny pack Batman!

The first day of 3rd grade, and I'm definitely wearing a plaid jumpsuit.  Hand-me-downs are awesome.

I was a pretty pretty princess.
Sorry that I don't have more to say right now.  I'm working on planning my Halloween costume.  If I can pull it off and find all of the parts and pieces, it will be amazeballs.  Keep your fingers crossed.



Oldies but goodies.

I stumbled upon some old photos when I as at my parents' house last night.  Here are some of the gems.

I was a pretty cute kid.

Trixie was my kitty for 16 years.  She was cranky in her old age, but she like playing with Barbies when we were little.

1980s Mommy Dearest judges you.

I have attractive parents.  This was taken while they were still dating.
 I'm not sure why Blogger insists on displaying these sideways, but oh well.  Just a random photo dump.  Carry on with your lives.



Scrabble me this...

My name is Allison and I'm addicted to Words with Friends.  Most of the time, things are tame, but sometimes things get funny.

You'd think I was a 6-year-old boy.  But I'm not.

My friends are also very mature.
Racist iPhone.
Scrabble was never this naughty when my cousins and I played it on the rug in my grandparents' den.


They fell in love. I just fell.

I'm behind on updates (as usual).  Gimme a break.

On October 1, I got to be a part of the most perfect wedding ever.  Little and Muffin got married and it was magical.  Don't believe me?  Booyah.

We all are all-too-aware of my...clumsy...nature.  I fall.  A lot.  And I always have unexplained bruises and scratches.  Mommy Dearest jokingly calls me Grace because it is something I lack most days.  Whatevs, at least I'm honest.

Let's get to the good part.  The part where I get hurt at Little's wedding.  The wedding party was gathered in the church taking pictures.  It was time for the big group shot and the photographer was arranging everyone just so.  Of course she asks me to move to the opposite side of the group.  Sounds easy.  Not so much.  I begin to turn to my left and immediately know I've done something very wrong.  I had dislocated my kneecap.  No kneecap = no standing.  I immediately fell flat on my face.  Literally.  I fell hard and fast.  My dress flew up (thank baby Jesus for Spanx).  I managed to cut a huge gash in my leg with my bouquet stems.  I can't make this stuff up.  Everyone panics when they see me wipe out.  I try to play it cool but I'm doing the ugly cry due to a brutal combination of embarrassment and pain.  Long story short, I sat down for a few minutes, took several Tylenol, borrowed an ice pack, and regrouped.  Pictures resumed and life was good.  But my knee was huge.

After the wedding, Little and I were laughing about the whole fiasco.  She said I looked like a fainting goat.  The best part?  I'm sure I did.

In need of a distraction on your wedding day?  Call me.

Later gators,
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