There seems to be a common theme running through my life lately. That theme is miscommunication. Come to think of it, it's not just lately.
Gather 'round children, while I tell you an awkward story from my past.
When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class for Interim (the school's January term) with my core group of friends. We went to Italy for 19 days to study art history. Totally my jam. We started our trip in Rome, made our way through Tuscany to Florence, and ended our trip in Venice. I didn't speak a lick of Italian. I also tend to have a thick southern accent (especially when I've consumed alcohol or when I'm sleepy). One night, we were at a bar in Venice. It was super late and we hadn't slept much that trip. Who wants to sleep when you are in Italy?! I moseyed on up to the bar and--in my best broken Italian--asked the bartender where the toilets were located. (They don't use polite phrases like "restroom" or "bathroom" so you have to be direct.) The bartender winked at me and handed me a shot. Well that's odd. I didn't order a shot... I decided that maybe he just didn't understand me and was trying to flirt with the American girl. But I had to pee. I went back up to the bar a few minutes later and the scenario repeated itself. I asked for the toilet and he winked and gave me a shot. I was extremely confused but I took my shot and walked away. Then I really had to pee. Remember that scene at the beginning of Austin Powers where he pees for like 8 minutes straight? It was like that. I walked back up to the bar in a final attempt to ask for directions/key to the toilet. I saw the all-too-familiar scenario happening again but I was powerless to stop it. I had pretty much decided I'd end up peeing myself. Out of the blue, emerged an intoxicate angel.
Drunk angel: What do you want?
Moi: I have to pee! I keep asking him where the toilet is and he keeps giving me more to drink and OMGIMGONNAWETMYPANTSNOW!
DA: That's not what you're asking him.
Moi: Of course it is! Wait...what do you mean?
DA: You should be saying "Dove toletta?"
Moi: Yea, that's what I said...
DA: No, you said "Dove tu letto?" That's definitely not the same.
Moi: Big whoop. What's the difference?
DA: You meant to ask "Where is the toilet?" but you really asked "Where is your bed?"
No wonder he was so friendly. Sheesh.
You're welcome.
Awkward hugs,
A
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
2.17.2011
B is for Boring.
I swear, I didn't disappear in real life. I just haven't felt like I've had anything blog-worthy lately. Scratch that: I have, I just haven't had the energy to write it.
Last week, I had the single-most awkward experience EVER. I can't go into the details, but it was way awk. Think of the most awkward thing you can imagine. (Go ahead, take your time.) Now, multiply the awkwardness of that situation times 239,273,894,743,127,943,967...(you get the picture). That's about half as awkward as this incident. I won't say anymore since I can't tell the story, but I will leave you with these hints: mannequin, leash, Mexico. Now let your imagination run wild with those!
Today is my first migraine-free day in 21 days [knock on wood]. All of the pain has left me exhausted everyday. I'm at my wit's end with this whole thing. I've been taking my medicines like I'm supposed to, but they just aren't working. It's incredibly frustrating. If you have any tips on how to deal with migraines, pass them my way. I've been suffering my whole life and I've managed to keep them mostly under control. Occasionally, I would have a string of them, but it has never been this severe for so long. I'm desperate. I will try anything.
On Friday, I was checking the Facebook newsfeed on my Blackberry and I saw a post that made my heart sink. Will had died. Will was a good friend of mine in college, and we had the very briefest of flings. If you blinked, you would have missed it. Not exaggerating. Will played on my college's soccer team. I was a soccer "groupie," and friends will all of the players. My girls and I went to almost all of the games and spent a great deal of our free time hanging out with the guys. (Trips to Fraternity Row, late-night runs to Jack in the Box, shenanigans all over campus, OC parties...never a dull moment.) Will was a year behind me in school, but we were roughly the same age. He was always the life of the party and never failed to bring a smile to my face. I remember one particular night down at The Row when I ran into Will in the middle of the grass, dancing to the music, wearing a sombrero. Classic Will. We didn't remain close after college. We led different lives that took us in very different directions, but I will always remember him fondly. It's just another reminder about how fleeting our time on this earth really is, and how we should cherish every moment, even the crappy ones. I know that it's a cliche thing to say, but it's so very true. Here's to you, Will: Thank you for the laughs, the hugs, and the memories. Thank you for always being true to yourself, however wacky it was. I know you're rocking it out on the other side, sombrero and all.
Love and Rockets,
A
PS- If you haven't checked out Jenni's blog yet, you totally should. She's got a great giveaway going on. (I plan on winning, but you can totally come in second.)
Last week, I had the single-most awkward experience EVER. I can't go into the details, but it was way awk. Think of the most awkward thing you can imagine. (Go ahead, take your time.) Now, multiply the awkwardness of that situation times 239,273,894,743,127,943,967...(you get the picture). That's about half as awkward as this incident. I won't say anymore since I can't tell the story, but I will leave you with these hints: mannequin, leash, Mexico. Now let your imagination run wild with those!
Today is my first migraine-free day in 21 days [knock on wood]. All of the pain has left me exhausted everyday. I'm at my wit's end with this whole thing. I've been taking my medicines like I'm supposed to, but they just aren't working. It's incredibly frustrating. If you have any tips on how to deal with migraines, pass them my way. I've been suffering my whole life and I've managed to keep them mostly under control. Occasionally, I would have a string of them, but it has never been this severe for so long. I'm desperate. I will try anything.
On Friday, I was checking the Facebook newsfeed on my Blackberry and I saw a post that made my heart sink. Will had died. Will was a good friend of mine in college, and we had the very briefest of flings. If you blinked, you would have missed it. Not exaggerating. Will played on my college's soccer team. I was a soccer "groupie," and friends will all of the players. My girls and I went to almost all of the games and spent a great deal of our free time hanging out with the guys. (Trips to Fraternity Row, late-night runs to Jack in the Box, shenanigans all over campus, OC parties...never a dull moment.) Will was a year behind me in school, but we were roughly the same age. He was always the life of the party and never failed to bring a smile to my face. I remember one particular night down at The Row when I ran into Will in the middle of the grass, dancing to the music, wearing a sombrero. Classic Will. We didn't remain close after college. We led different lives that took us in very different directions, but I will always remember him fondly. It's just another reminder about how fleeting our time on this earth really is, and how we should cherish every moment, even the crappy ones. I know that it's a cliche thing to say, but it's so very true. Here's to you, Will: Thank you for the laughs, the hugs, and the memories. Thank you for always being true to yourself, however wacky it was. I know you're rocking it out on the other side, sombrero and all.
Love and Rockets,
A
PS- If you haven't checked out Jenni's blog yet, you totally should. She's got a great giveaway going on. (I plan on winning, but you can totally come in second.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
