Stuck a feather in my cap and called it macaroni.

It's Tuesday, so you know what that means...Talk To Us Tuesday with Impulsive and Shawn!





I don't have anything too exciting to share today, but I do have a bit of awkwardness.  I got dressed for work this morning in black pants and a grey sweater--cheery, right?  As I was walking out the door, I threw on this cute new headband to add a pop of color:

My boss walked by my desk this morning and stopped and stared at my head.  Oh, great. 

Boss: So does that have some kind of tribal significance?

Moi: [stares, puzzled]

Boss: You know...for your heritage?

Moi: [stares, dumbfounded]

Boss: Or are those special turkey feathers for Thanksgiving?

Really?  Do I look remotely tribal to you?  I'm about as pale/Caucasian as they come, y'all.  And does it look like I'm wearing turkey feathers in my hair?  That's it...I give up.  No more being trendy in the office.

Is my boss right?  Do I look like a tribal turkey?  Or is this cute?

Snuggles,

A

A trip to Deliverance country.

Short and sweet today.

Here is where I went on a "field trip" to get telephone poles.  Yes, you read that right.

I hear banjos...

And here is the jewelry I wore today, because I know you care.

1.  Necklace: bought the crystal at AC Moore and made a pendant, gold chain is something I bought awhile back.
2.  Ring: Disney Couture treasure chest ring, Amazon
3.  Watch: Michael Kors
4.  Earrings: Target 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

A

They call me Mello Yello.

The past two weeks have been rough.  Work has been insane, and I feel like I've barely had a chance to breathe.  The migraines haven't really subsided.  Remember back on February 17 when I said I was migraine free?  Lie.  Shortly after I wrote the post, I got one.  For those of you keeping count, this is day 36.  Mother F.  They don't always last all day everyday, but that doesn't make them any better.

Yesterday was the day that I reached my boiling point.  I had a vent session with a co-worker and felt a little better.  I came back from to the office after being out with a client and I found this on my desk:

"A little something [Mello Yello] to help you deal with the [Airheads] in the world."  I love her.

My church recently started a Bible Study class on Thursday nights.  I attend a small church, so this is pretty exciting for me.  It's a class for adults (and I am clearly the youngest by almost a decade).  We are doing and in-depth study of Francis Chan's book Crazy Love.  I highly recommend this book.  I don't agree with everything Chan says, but he makes some really strong points.

I am awkward.  We know this about me.  I actually said the word "golly" the other day, as in "Oh, golly!"  I guess that's better than when I say "shit."  Or not.  

Head on over to my jewelry blog, Copper Alley, and see the necklace I'm rocking today.  I'm bragging.  You'll have to get over it.

Happy Friday!

A

Everybody poops.

My morning at the office started out on a painfully awkward note.
My coworker came into the office a little before 9am.  She stood in the lobby and wrinkled up her nose.  "It smells bad in here.  Does anyone else smell that??  It's terrible!"  I walked through the lobby on my way to the kitchen, and sure enough, it stunk.  About that time, my boss emerged from the restroom.  He looked at me, very embarrassed, and sighed.  OMG.  I was about as uncomfortable as I was after seeing Black Swan.  And I wasn't even the one that had said something.

Pooping in the office is awk.  Just throwing that out there.

On a more serious note, today marks the one month anniversary of Granddaddy's death.  I miss him everyday.  Every.  Single.  Day.

Love and Rockets,
A

Some people are cray cray.

I am on dumbass overload today.  I can't handle another stupid person.  Yes, I am cranky, but I am justified in feeling this way.  I started off my day by receiving a rude email.  Now I'm dealing with a potential client who changes her mind every two seconds.  Is it 5 o'clock yet?

Immediately after work, I'm heading to the gas station to fuel up, and then I'm heading to a dinner meeting.  I'm an advisor for my sorority and we are having a meeting at the Cracker Barrel tonight.  We are a classy group of ladies.  I hope there will be a lot of chewing and not a lot of talking.  I'm not really in the mood to talk.  But speaking of my sorority... Today is Kappa Alpha Theta's Founders Day!  I'm so happy to have my sisters as a part of my life!

Ok, you can stop gagging...the sappy moment is over now.

I almost forgot to tell you about yesterday!  Whew, that was a close one!  We have a older man that comes about every six weeks to wash our windows at the office.  He used to be homeless but he started his own window washing business and now makes a little living for himself.  He didn't strike it rich or anything, but he makes do.  He came in to my office to get the check I had for him and struck up a conversation with me.  I politely responded, while trying to focus on my work.  That didn't work.  He started telling me about his passion for astronomy and asked if he could show me some pictures.  Before I had a chance to respond, he whipped out his cell phone.  He started showing me pictures on his phone that he "took."  (By that, I mean he says he shot them but he really just took a picture of a picture in a book.)  He starts telling me that he took these pictures of the planets and constellations and that he'd seen God in the constellation Orion.  I'm not one to judge, and I believe that God presents Himself in different ways to different people, so I smiled and nodded.  He ran out to his car and brought me pictures that he claimed he taken and sent to NASA.  (Again, photos of photos in a book.)  He told me how he'd prayed to God to reveal Himself and pointed to the picture to show me where he saw God's face.  This whole discussion lasted for about half an hour.  I was alone in the office with Mr. Window Washer looking for faces in space.  Very interesting...

A close-up of the constellation Orion.  Apparently I'm supposed to see a dove and the face of God.

There's supposedly a rabbit and a little girl here.  He said something about the entrance to Heaven has something to do with children.  Clearly, I thought it was a little creepy.

Mr. Window Washer is a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, if you know what I mean.

*I wrote this post yesterday and forgot to hit publish.  Oops.

I can't make this stuff up.

I get to work this morning a few minutes before 8am and I am the only one there besides my boss.  As I open the front door, I hear it.  It's not a sound you'd expect before 8am.  What was it? Bagpipes.  The Red Hot Chili Pipers, to be exact.  Serious as a heart attack, yo.  It's too early for bagpipes.

I'm going to get a mega-sized cup of coffee now.

You're welcome,

A

How do you clean up a soap spill?

Ok people, this is day 5 of a migraine.  There should be a law against this.  If I don't get relief soon, I may have to head to the hospital for a shot of the good stuff.  Let's hope I don't have to resort to this.  The "new guy" at work (who is 63) told me to freeze a kitchen knife and hold the cold blade on my jawline.  I'm not sure how that will help, and I'm pretty sure that's the craziest thing I've heard all week.  Should I drink some kerosene while I'm at it??

The furbaby is a bad girl.  There was a brand new jug of laundry detergent sitting on the kitchen counter.  Sometime in the middle of the night, she must have jumped on the counter and knocked it over.  When it fell, the cap broke and detergent spilled all over the kitchen floor and rug.  Not a good situation.  Here's a very important question for all of my lovelies out in bloggy land: How do you clean liquid detergent out of a rug?  The rug is too big to wash in the washing machine and I don't want to make a holy sudsy mess.  Please help!

Update from the doctor:  I do not have a stress fracture in my foot.  Thank you, baby Jesus.  As it turns out, I have severely irritated my metatarsals and the muscles surrounding them and my fat pad on the ball of my foot has atrophied.  Hot mess.  I kicked the boot to the curb again.  Well, not really.  I'd probably hurt myself worse if I kicked the boot, but you get what I'm saying.  That was a little piece of good news in my life.

It's so cold in my office.  My hands are freezing, my nose is cold and drippy, and my feet are like ice cubes.  I don't like winter.  I live in the South, and I expect the temperatures to adjust themselves accordingly.  I am not ok with the fact that it is currently 25 degrees outside at 9:50am.  No thank you.

I'm rocking out to the Glee Christmas CD and trying to not be a Scrooge right now.

Snuggles,
A

Like It's Her Birthday!

"Drinking champagne, going insane...like it's her birthday!"

Cardiology by Good Charlotte {here}

Today is officially my last day being 23.  What better way to celebrate myself than to relive all of the "awesome" moments from the past year!  Shall we?  We shall.

1.  I was the bridesmaid (yes, the only one) in my cousin's Halloween wedding.  I can't make this stuff up.  She met her husband online.  "Oh, that's perfectly normal," you say.  I say you haven't heard the rest of the story.  They met online playing World of Warcraft.  My cousin has always been a fan of Halloween, vampires, witches, and general spookiness.  She went through a very long goth phase in her life.  I'm totally okay with that.  It wasn't a huge shocker when she picked Halloween as her wedding day.  It was a surprise when, after 5 years of us not hanging out, she texts me and asks me to be in her wedding.  Do I get to wear a costume?!?!?!

They got married in my Aunt's front yard.  And yes, he did wear those sunglasses and that hat during the ceremony.

We don't look too scary.  And I made her bouquet.

2.  I lost my job in December.  Ten days before Christmas.  It was traumatic, but one of the best things to ever happen to me.  I'm thankful to be out of that toxic environment.  That's a story for another time.

3.  I awkwardly dated English Teacher.  English Teacher is a guy I went to college with.  We had Wellness Class together our first semester of freshman year, and remained friends ever since.  Since graduation, he has gone on to be a high school English teacher, hence the nickname.  Somehow we ended up deciding that we needed to go to dinner together.  And then somehow we decided that we should kiss.  And thus, the awkward "relationship" ensued.  He's a great guy, but it just wasn't a great fit.  Our second "date" was a group thing for New Year's Eve.  English Teacher invited me to go out with some friends, including our mutual friend, Redneck Photographer.  Redneck Photographer's birthday happens to be NYE, so it was a joint celebration.  The party guests included myself, English Teacher, Redneck Photographer, and 2 other guys.  Where did we go for NYE?  A strip club.  See why all of this is awkward?  Anyway, over the next few months, English Teacher and I went on some dates, and then he fell off the face of the earth.  The End. 

4.  Mommy Dearest and I decided to go on vacation to London and Dublin.  It was great, and lasted much longer than expected because we got stuck over there when the volcano erupted.  

On Westminster Bridge, in front of the Houses of Parliament.

Dublin was pretty and green.

5.  I went on the worst date in the history of dates.  I'm really not kidding.  I think I'm going to recount that magical nightmare-ish night for you now.  One day, I got a text from a guy that I've known (through mutual friends) since college.  We're going to call him Mr. Pretentious.  We chatted and he suggested that we meet up for dinner one night and catch up.  I say yes, because it would be nice to catch up with someone I haven't seen in a long time.  He asks where I want to eat downtown, and I suggest Wild Wings or Mexican or something of that variety.  He insists the we go somewhere nicer and says it's his treat.  In my mind, that does not mean that it's a date.  On dates, you don't specify that you're treating.  Am I wrong in this thought process???  I decided that we should meet downtown at the restaurant (so I could escape if things got weird).  He picked a fancy Italian restaurant that had a pricey menu, but lacked authenticity.  (Yes, I do get to critique Italian restaurants because I lived in Italy for 4 months.  Shut up.)  I arrive first, but they can't seat me until my whole party is there, so I'm forced to wait outside on a bench in the cold.  He calls and tells me that he's stuck at the bank because he went to get cash for dinner and his card didn't work because he'd spent too much money at the bars last night.  Strike 1.  He showed up not long after and we finally got to sit down and eat.  Mr. Pretentious keeps asking if I want a drink, to which I say no (against my better judgement) because I'm afraid that his card won't be working and I will get stuck with the bill.  He orders his "drink of choice" (that's seriously what he calls it) and dares me to guess what it is.  What was it?  An effing double screwdriver.  I don't even drink screwdrivers because I feel like a little girl doing so.  If there is going to be alcohol in my OJ, it's going to be champagne and it's going to be in a nice glass.  Strike 2.  I finally cave and order a glass of wine to calm my nerves.  Mr. Pretentious talks about himself all through dinner, telling stories and bragging about how exciting his life is.  His life is not exciting.  (See, I have a very exciting life and that's why I blog.  See the difference?  Shut up.)  He brags that he dropped out of college because he was lazy.  Strike 3.  He brags that he smoked pot in high school when he was on a Drama Club trip to NYC.  Strike 4.  He brags that his parents think he's an alcoholic.  Strike 5.  He brags that he has 2 jobs just to support his drinking habit (how responsible...).  Strike 6.  His roommate is the most obnoxious and crude DJ in town.  Strike 7.  He had a dog but gave it away because pets are too big of a responsibility.  Strike 8.  He bragged that he is a Gamer.  He legit called himself that.

Me: "So what do you like to do in your spare time, when you're not working?"

Mr. Pretentious: "Ummm, hello?  I'm a Gamer!"

Me: [awkwardly] "So what do you like to play?"

Mr. P: "Call of Duty!  Ha, like there's any other game.  Listen to yourself.  I've got a headset and everything.  It's pretty awesome."

Me: "I got a Wii for Christmas.  I play it sometimes..." [awkward]

Strike 9.  My dinner was mediocre, at best.  We finished eating around 8:00pm and went to the bar next door for a drink.  I had tried to bail but it was too early to go home and say that I was going to bed, and let's be honest, I needed a drink.  I order my standard Jack D drink, and he of course orders another screwdriver.  I had the brilliant plan to start talking about The Ex and make him think that I still wasn't over him.  Didn't work.  

Mr. P: "You're lucky, ya know?  I only date girls that are older than 22."

Me: "Did I say I was 23?  I mean't 21.  My bad..."

Mr. P: "Wanna know why?"

Me: "No..."

Mr. P:  "Because girls younger than 22 only want to do one thing: party.  That's all they ever think about."

Me:  "Umm...not me.  I don't really ever think about partying.  I've moved past that stage in my life."

Mr. P:  "You're wrong.  Trust me...I know what I'm talking about."

Me:  "Ahh, yes.  You know because you're a 22 year-old female.  I forgot.  What was I thinking?"

Strike 10.  Around 9:00pm I pretend that I'm exhausted and tell him that I'm going to head home and go to bed because I'm an old lady.  It's raining at this point, but I didn't care.  I was parked in the garage that was literally a block away.  He wouldn't let me walk.  He called a rickshaw to come pick us up and drive me a block to my car.  I was so embarrassed and the rickshaw driver was pissed.  Strike 11.  We get to the garage and I get out to walk to my car.  Mr. Pretentious follows me!  The rickshaw driver saw his chance and escaped.  Mr. Pretentious tries to convince me to go down to a different bar to hang out with his friend who is DJing.  [Sidenote: This "friend" is a guy I used to date.  The same guy that introduced me to Mr. P.]  Why the hell would I want to hang out with both of them at the same time?!  To quote Whitney Houston, "Crack is whack! Hell to the no!"  After I convince him that I am not coming out with him and that I'm going to bed, I head home.  Here is the text message exchange that followed.

Mr. P: I had an awesome time 2nite.

Me: I made it home.  Goodnight.

Mr. P: Y dont u grab a bottle and come over 2 watch a movie?

Mr. P: bottle of wine*

[He's trying to impress me by acting like he likes wine since I had a glass at dinner.  It's not working.]

Me:  Already in bed.  Goodnight.

Mr. P:  Thats ok if u want to pass out. i know how 2 keep u up ;)

Mr. P:  Wanna play truth or dare???

Me:  Truth: going to bed.  GOODNIGHT

Mr. P:  Wats my most attractive feature?

WTF, people?  No sir.  Strike 264684354984634687.  He's out.

6.  I got a new job!

7.  I started my own copper jewelry business.

These are monogrammed necklaces that I made as bridesmaid gifts for someone.

8.  I broke my foot.  Lame.

9.  I'm still pretty awesome, but only on days that end in "y."

10.  If you made it through this long and drawn out post, here is your reward.

Here I am (age 5) being awesome.  Happy (almost) birthday to me!

Snuggles and candy corn kisses,

A

Of Graves

"Can we argue at a later date when it's convenient for both of us?"

Lullaby Appetite by Alexa Wilkinson {here}

I love this line from Alexa Wilkinson's song.  It completely describes how I feel some days.  I just don't feel like putting in the effort to out-argue you today.  You know who you are.  

My workday started off pretty well today.  Yesterday, I bought my pregnant coworker a Sprite and some M&Ms (shhhh!) as a pick-me-up.  This morning she called me and said she was going to bring me a mocha to repay me.  Score!  Another highlight from my day has been exchanging emails with Pam (one of our freight providers).  Poor thing has poison oak on the inside of her eyelids.  I don't know how she is working!  I'd be on a bus to Crazyville, slobbering on the windows, in a straight-jacket.  For reals.  She makes me feel better a bout my haphazard life.  A close friend/coworker, S.E.Dubs, suggested that I call my blog "Accident Prone."  Not a bad idea, but I didn't want to jinx myself.  [Sidenote: I prefer the word "dubs" to saying "W."  Get over it.]

I have a bit of dilemma.  I've been invited to a wedding this weekend.  The bride and I went to college together and were in the same sorority.  We are friends, but not extremely close.  The wedding is in Cola Town (about 2ish hours from where I live), and I'd have to drive by myself.  No biggie, until you remember that I have a broken right foot and driving that far isn't exactly the safest easiest thing on the planet.  I'd also have to rock Das Boot with a cocktail dress and have uneven legs all night because I'd either have to wear flats that are too short or heels that are too tall (or rock the Reebok Easy Tones...).  Not to be vain, but I don't want to look too unfortunate in pictures.  The wedding is on Saturday night.  I'd have to drive back late at night because I have to teach Sunday School at 9:45am.  Do I go even though my heart just isn't in it?  Current verdict: stay home.

It's clearly the birthing time of year, because I have another baby shower to go to this Sunday.  It's for the aforementioned pregnant coworker (KL).  S.E.Dubs and I are going in on a plethora of gifts together, and I decided to make a picture for the nursery, like I did for C(P)W.  KL and her hubby decided to keep the baby's gender a surprise, so I don't have a name for the picture.  S.E.Dubs and I decided to go with the monkey theme, so take a look:

Presh, right?!

I'm pretty proud of it, not gonna lie.  Now, all I have left to do this week is: fill all of my outstanding jewelry orders, plan a Sunday School lesson, plan a devotion and games for Sunday night for the Youth, try to make my apartment livable again so that I can move back in soon, teach Princess Fiona that it's not nice to open doors and run away, teach Princess Fiona that it's not nice to pull the vent cover out of the kitchen floor, find a Lady Gaga wig, make a wish-list for my birthday, and maybe do some laundry.  Bleh.

Because I know you want to see the furbaby, here is a recent picture of Princess Fiona.  I think she looks like a sleeping lion.

Rawr.

And here is a stamp that I bought last night at Michael's that I'm a little obsessed with:

Adorbs.

I bought some light pink blank note cards and some dark pink ink and I am going to make my own stationery.    I think that I might do the flames in metallic gold, because who doesn't love metallics?!

Later gators,

A