My hygiene products are trying to murder me.

My morning started out on a not-so-awesome note.  Stupid shower.

Let me tell you a little bit about the shower set-up.  I know everyone knows what a shower looks like, so don't get me wrong.  My shower has a built-in shelf up in the right corner of the shower (if you're facing the faucet).  That's where the various bottles of shampoo live.  There is also a wire caddy thing hanging from the shower head.  That's where the razors and other stuff live.  Well, this wire caddy thing has a removable shelf, which I removed recently because it kept falling down.  I stuck it up on the shelf with the shampoo.  This morning, as I was groggily soaping up, it happened.  Shampoo bottles and the removed wire shelf leaped off the top shelf and land square on the top of my foot.  My good foot.  It's not so good anymore.  I've got a big bruise on my foot and I just discovered one on my knee.  Clearly, I am a hot mess.

Who knew showering could be so dangerous?!

Has anyone else ever been injured while minding their own business?

Sad faces,
A

In a funk. Rebooting and regrouping.

Today is one of those days.  I just feel blah about everything.  I'm lacking in the self-worth and brains department.  I think I need a life coach.  Someone that will force empower me to make good life choices and remind me that I'm a kick-ass person.  Sometimes I forget/doubt it.  On top of my poor life choices, I forgot to pay my rent this month.  What?!  It's due by the 5th of the month.  I remembered today.  Today is the 6th.  I had to pay a really awesome $66 late fee.  I've never been late with my rent.  If you could see my face, it's not a happy one.

Here's a hypothetical situation for y'all to ponder.  Let's say there is a really awesome person who may or may not have a case of the "likes" towards you.  (You have indicated that this is mutual, although you tend to be hot and cold, just like Katy Perry said you'd be.)  You invite said person over to hang out and she is super thoughtful and knows that you didn't eat supper, so she brings you some leftover homemade spaghetti and some chocolate cake.  Thoughtful, remember?  She was even cool enough to bring you enough so that you could take it to work tomorrow and have lunch.  What would you think/do?  If you answer incorrectly, you are dead to me.  Just kidding.  Well, maybe.

I'm in a funk.  I feel like that episode of Glee.  Help.

In case you haven't heard via Facebook, I had to reboot.  That's right, I'm wearing das boot again.  I have been having a lot of pain in my right foot and I was trying to shrug it off and pretend that it was just going to hurt while I was getting used to walking in normal shoes.  Last Wednesday, I had physical therapy.  I told her about my pain and that one of my toes looked funny.  She thinks I have a stress fracture.  The bad part?  It's in a completely different area of my foot than the original break.  I guess I just have brittle feet?  I go back to the doctor in the morning for x-rays and we will see.  Add bionic feet to my Christmas list, Santa baby.  I also need wool socks because my toes get cold in das boot.

And to revert back to the origins of this blog, I will leave you with some song lyrics:
"'Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?'...Winter just wasn't my season." -Anna Nalick, "Breathe (2AM)"

Meh,
A

OMGSHUZ

Both All of my readers probably know about my jewelry business, Copper Alley.  Check out the link to see more of my goodies.  Here is the latest piece I made.  It was a custom order through The Pink Monogram.

jFm monogram [2" circle pendant on an 18" split copper chain]

Speaking of feet...oh, wait, we weren't talking about feet... Now we are.  Speaking of feet, I went to see the doctor yesterday about my foot.  Turns out that my foot is healing really well.  Ankle...not so much.  My ankle has continued to be achy and very swollen.  I've got an ankle muffin-top lapping over my shoe.  No lie.  Doc says I might have torn cartilage in my ankle.  Really, Doc?  I go back at the end of December to reevaluate.  Bummer.  Here's an exciting update...I'm not stuck wearing the Reebok Easy Tones anymore!  (I've been wearing the Reeboks with a hard graphite insert in my right shoe since October 26.  Prior to that, I was in a Reebok on the left and a boot on the right (since August 30).  What kicks am I rockin' now?

{here}

I bought these Dansko look-a-likes, by Italian Shoemakers (from Off Broadway Shoes).  I may be the only blasphemous female on the planet that hates the way Danskos fit.  They are too loose in the heel region for me, and I realize that's probably why most people like them.  Not me.  I feel like I am going to step out of them at any given time.  These lovelies, however, are a littler slimmer and I love them.  I bought them in black.  Hooray for shoes!

I saw a license plate the other day that said: OMGSHUZ.  Love it.

That's all I have to say about that, Forrest Gump.

Kbye,

A

Like It's Her Birthday!

"Drinking champagne, going insane...like it's her birthday!"

Cardiology by Good Charlotte {here}

Today is officially my last day being 23.  What better way to celebrate myself than to relive all of the "awesome" moments from the past year!  Shall we?  We shall.

1.  I was the bridesmaid (yes, the only one) in my cousin's Halloween wedding.  I can't make this stuff up.  She met her husband online.  "Oh, that's perfectly normal," you say.  I say you haven't heard the rest of the story.  They met online playing World of Warcraft.  My cousin has always been a fan of Halloween, vampires, witches, and general spookiness.  She went through a very long goth phase in her life.  I'm totally okay with that.  It wasn't a huge shocker when she picked Halloween as her wedding day.  It was a surprise when, after 5 years of us not hanging out, she texts me and asks me to be in her wedding.  Do I get to wear a costume?!?!?!

They got married in my Aunt's front yard.  And yes, he did wear those sunglasses and that hat during the ceremony.

We don't look too scary.  And I made her bouquet.

2.  I lost my job in December.  Ten days before Christmas.  It was traumatic, but one of the best things to ever happen to me.  I'm thankful to be out of that toxic environment.  That's a story for another time.

3.  I awkwardly dated English Teacher.  English Teacher is a guy I went to college with.  We had Wellness Class together our first semester of freshman year, and remained friends ever since.  Since graduation, he has gone on to be a high school English teacher, hence the nickname.  Somehow we ended up deciding that we needed to go to dinner together.  And then somehow we decided that we should kiss.  And thus, the awkward "relationship" ensued.  He's a great guy, but it just wasn't a great fit.  Our second "date" was a group thing for New Year's Eve.  English Teacher invited me to go out with some friends, including our mutual friend, Redneck Photographer.  Redneck Photographer's birthday happens to be NYE, so it was a joint celebration.  The party guests included myself, English Teacher, Redneck Photographer, and 2 other guys.  Where did we go for NYE?  A strip club.  See why all of this is awkward?  Anyway, over the next few months, English Teacher and I went on some dates, and then he fell off the face of the earth.  The End. 

4.  Mommy Dearest and I decided to go on vacation to London and Dublin.  It was great, and lasted much longer than expected because we got stuck over there when the volcano erupted.  

On Westminster Bridge, in front of the Houses of Parliament.

Dublin was pretty and green.

5.  I went on the worst date in the history of dates.  I'm really not kidding.  I think I'm going to recount that magical nightmare-ish night for you now.  One day, I got a text from a guy that I've known (through mutual friends) since college.  We're going to call him Mr. Pretentious.  We chatted and he suggested that we meet up for dinner one night and catch up.  I say yes, because it would be nice to catch up with someone I haven't seen in a long time.  He asks where I want to eat downtown, and I suggest Wild Wings or Mexican or something of that variety.  He insists the we go somewhere nicer and says it's his treat.  In my mind, that does not mean that it's a date.  On dates, you don't specify that you're treating.  Am I wrong in this thought process???  I decided that we should meet downtown at the restaurant (so I could escape if things got weird).  He picked a fancy Italian restaurant that had a pricey menu, but lacked authenticity.  (Yes, I do get to critique Italian restaurants because I lived in Italy for 4 months.  Shut up.)  I arrive first, but they can't seat me until my whole party is there, so I'm forced to wait outside on a bench in the cold.  He calls and tells me that he's stuck at the bank because he went to get cash for dinner and his card didn't work because he'd spent too much money at the bars last night.  Strike 1.  He showed up not long after and we finally got to sit down and eat.  Mr. Pretentious keeps asking if I want a drink, to which I say no (against my better judgement) because I'm afraid that his card won't be working and I will get stuck with the bill.  He orders his "drink of choice" (that's seriously what he calls it) and dares me to guess what it is.  What was it?  An effing double screwdriver.  I don't even drink screwdrivers because I feel like a little girl doing so.  If there is going to be alcohol in my OJ, it's going to be champagne and it's going to be in a nice glass.  Strike 2.  I finally cave and order a glass of wine to calm my nerves.  Mr. Pretentious talks about himself all through dinner, telling stories and bragging about how exciting his life is.  His life is not exciting.  (See, I have a very exciting life and that's why I blog.  See the difference?  Shut up.)  He brags that he dropped out of college because he was lazy.  Strike 3.  He brags that he smoked pot in high school when he was on a Drama Club trip to NYC.  Strike 4.  He brags that his parents think he's an alcoholic.  Strike 5.  He brags that he has 2 jobs just to support his drinking habit (how responsible...).  Strike 6.  His roommate is the most obnoxious and crude DJ in town.  Strike 7.  He had a dog but gave it away because pets are too big of a responsibility.  Strike 8.  He bragged that he is a Gamer.  He legit called himself that.

Me: "So what do you like to do in your spare time, when you're not working?"

Mr. Pretentious: "Ummm, hello?  I'm a Gamer!"

Me: [awkwardly] "So what do you like to play?"

Mr. P: "Call of Duty!  Ha, like there's any other game.  Listen to yourself.  I've got a headset and everything.  It's pretty awesome."

Me: "I got a Wii for Christmas.  I play it sometimes..." [awkward]

Strike 9.  My dinner was mediocre, at best.  We finished eating around 8:00pm and went to the bar next door for a drink.  I had tried to bail but it was too early to go home and say that I was going to bed, and let's be honest, I needed a drink.  I order my standard Jack D drink, and he of course orders another screwdriver.  I had the brilliant plan to start talking about The Ex and make him think that I still wasn't over him.  Didn't work.  

Mr. P: "You're lucky, ya know?  I only date girls that are older than 22."

Me: "Did I say I was 23?  I mean't 21.  My bad..."

Mr. P: "Wanna know why?"

Me: "No..."

Mr. P:  "Because girls younger than 22 only want to do one thing: party.  That's all they ever think about."

Me:  "Umm...not me.  I don't really ever think about partying.  I've moved past that stage in my life."

Mr. P:  "You're wrong.  Trust me...I know what I'm talking about."

Me:  "Ahh, yes.  You know because you're a 22 year-old female.  I forgot.  What was I thinking?"

Strike 10.  Around 9:00pm I pretend that I'm exhausted and tell him that I'm going to head home and go to bed because I'm an old lady.  It's raining at this point, but I didn't care.  I was parked in the garage that was literally a block away.  He wouldn't let me walk.  He called a rickshaw to come pick us up and drive me a block to my car.  I was so embarrassed and the rickshaw driver was pissed.  Strike 11.  We get to the garage and I get out to walk to my car.  Mr. Pretentious follows me!  The rickshaw driver saw his chance and escaped.  Mr. Pretentious tries to convince me to go down to a different bar to hang out with his friend who is DJing.  [Sidenote: This "friend" is a guy I used to date.  The same guy that introduced me to Mr. P.]  Why the hell would I want to hang out with both of them at the same time?!  To quote Whitney Houston, "Crack is whack! Hell to the no!"  After I convince him that I am not coming out with him and that I'm going to bed, I head home.  Here is the text message exchange that followed.

Mr. P: I had an awesome time 2nite.

Me: I made it home.  Goodnight.

Mr. P: Y dont u grab a bottle and come over 2 watch a movie?

Mr. P: bottle of wine*

[He's trying to impress me by acting like he likes wine since I had a glass at dinner.  It's not working.]

Me:  Already in bed.  Goodnight.

Mr. P:  Thats ok if u want to pass out. i know how 2 keep u up ;)

Mr. P:  Wanna play truth or dare???

Me:  Truth: going to bed.  GOODNIGHT

Mr. P:  Wats my most attractive feature?

WTF, people?  No sir.  Strike 264684354984634687.  He's out.

6.  I got a new job!

7.  I started my own copper jewelry business.

These are monogrammed necklaces that I made as bridesmaid gifts for someone.

8.  I broke my foot.  Lame.

9.  I'm still pretty awesome, but only on days that end in "y."

10.  If you made it through this long and drawn out post, here is your reward.

Here I am (age 5) being awesome.  Happy (almost) birthday to me!

Snuggles and candy corn kisses,

A

Again Again

"My birthday's coming, and if I had one wish, yeah, it'd be you."

"The Fame" by Lady Gaga {here}

Why Lady Gaga?  Well, Little Monsters, I have a surprise for you.  Your's Truly will be donning some sequins, glitter, and glam for Halloween...dressed as Lady Gaga.  I finally decided that Gaga was a much better decision (and more fun) than Snooki.  Want a sneak peek???

Gaga glasses.

Pardon the quality of the picture...I took it with my cell phone of myself in the mirror.  If that's not classy, I don't know what is.  I bought the glasses (Official Licensed Gaga Wear) from Party City, but they weren't glam enough for me.  So, I marched (limped) on over to A.C. Moore and bought some rhinestones to jazz things up. I spent some quality time with my glue gun last night...and voilà!

I also made a quick stop in Ross Dress For Less and found a perfect sequin dress.  I'm pretty excited about the costume.  Stay tuned for the big reveal.

I went to the doctor today for some follow-up x-rays on my foot.  In case you missed that, I broke my foot on August 30.  Here's the hotness:

Gnarly.

Thankfully, the doctor gave me a good report.  Everything seems to be healing as it should, albeit slowly.  I've spent 5 weeks in a boot thus far, and I have 3 more to go.  After the boot, I have to wear a graphite insert in a sneaker for added support.  I go back in 6 weeks for more x-rays, so keep your fingers crossed!  It looks like I will be rocking the Reebok EasyTones for quite awhile.  The only downside?  I bought these shoes after I broke my right foot, because I needed a shoe that was the same height as my thicker-soled boot.  These are perfect, plus it gives my leg(s) a workout!  However, I have been wearing only the left shoe for 5 weeks now, as the right shoe is nestled clean in a bed of crisp tissue paper in the shoe box.  I think I am going to look a little silly with one clean shoe and one dirty shoe.  Let's not even think about the fact that my left leg is nice and toned, whereas my right calf muscles have taken a month-long vacation.  I'm disproportionate at the moment, and probably will be for some time.  Such is life.

(And in case you didn't catch the hint in today's song lyrics/quote, my birthday is this month!) *insert party dance here*


Love and Rockets, 
A

Starfish & Coffee

"Starfish and coffee,

Maple syrup and jam, 

Butterscotch clouds, a tangerine,

And a side order of ham.

If you set your mind free, baby,

Maybe you'd understand

Starfish and coffee,

Maple syrup and jam."

"Sign 'O' the Times" by Prince {here}

Ok, so this post has nothing to do with starfish or coffee, other than the fact that it is random.  Besides, I adore this song (especially the cover by Matt Nathanson) and it's been stuck in my head today.

Lack of sleep and an abundance of stress have caused me to come down with a rather annoying cold.  It doesn't help that the weather keeps alternating between summer and fall every other day.  Seriously, Mother Nature, make up your freaking mind.  

Since my brain is relatively fried, I am going to post a list of my random thoughts.  Sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting a polished post.  

1. I'm struggling to come up with a Sunday School lesson and a night-time lesson for my youth group for this week.  Lately, we've been discussing truth and right/wrong in Sunday School, and we've been talking about sharing our faith on Sunday nights.  I don't want them to burn out on a topic, but I don't want to end anything too soon.  Ideas???
2. I'm a little worried that my foot isn't healing like it should.  It's extraordinarily sensitive still.  And achy.
3. I'm searching for new inspiration for my copper jewelry line.  I love what I do, but I want to do more!  Suggestions?
4. On days like today, I'd rather procrastinate that be productive.  (Hence the blog entry.)
5. Halloween is quickly approaching.  I've narrowed down my costume ideas to 2 choices: Snooki or Lady GaGa.  Last year, I was Kate [Gosselin] + 8.  It was a pretty awesome costume, if I do say so myself (which I do).

 

Nailed it.  I am determined to match the awesomeness of Kate + 8, so which do I choose???  I've decided that the sex-bomb costumes just aren't me.  I don't make a good sexy Little Miss Bo Peep or sultry Catwoman or naughty school-girl.  No ma'am.  It's best that I just accept it and move on.  Instead of spreading lusty feelings with skimpy/overpriced/unoriginal costumes, I'd rather spread laughter.  

6.  Gilt Groupe spoils me with it's fabulousness.  And RueLaLa.  Check out this ridiculous beauty that I got in the mail from Gilt yesterday:

(Pardon the gnarly cat scratches on my hand.)

  It is absurd, gaudy, and I LOVE it!  I mean c'mon...it's gigantic, and it's a cameo of a fairy.  What's not to love???

7.  I REALLY want an iPad.  My excuse is that I need a computer for my business and iPad's are surprisingly inexpensive.  I realize that they don't have tons of memory, but that's what my crappy Gateway laptop is for.  I just need something that doesn't take 15 minutes to boot up and won't overheat and crash or get viruses everyday.  Plus I just want one.  

I guess that's all for now.  I know both of you that read this are truly riveted.  You're welcome.

Later gators, 

A