Lessons in customer service etiquette. And maybe some conjunctivitis, because that's sexy.

I don't know what the weather is like where y'all live, but it's nasty here.  Cold, wet, and icky.  This weather affects my mood and makes me a wee bit cranky.  And bitter.  And freaking cold.  Although cold isn't an emotion...shut up.

On my lunch break, I decided to stop by the gas station and get some of the nectar of the gods Dr. Pepper.  I was like the third person in a long check-out line.  The woman running the register had the IQ of a potato chip.  She had 14-inch-long fingernails that looked like she was vying for a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Well, maybe not quite that long.  How does she wipe her own arse?  {here}

Somehow, she manages to close her register.  She has no clue how it happened and no clue how to fix it.  Like zip, zilch, nada.  Dumber than potato chips.  She then informs everyone in line that we should probably leave because she wasn't going to be able to do anything.  Really?!  If you own a business that hires cashiers, here are a few ground rules you should probably follow:

1. Never hire anyone who is not capable of operating a register.  After all, that is their main task.
2. If you are dumb enough to hire someone who is not capable of operating said register, never allow them to work a shift alone.
3. Don't hire people with potato chip IQs.

Needless to say, I left empty-handed.  She seems like the type of person who spells Nancy with an "S."  Stupid people should not be allowed to breed.  I, clearly, would be allowed to have infinite amounts of babies, because I am not one of those people.  (Shut up.)  

I mentioned in my last post that I did quite a bit of shopping on Black Friday.  I received a phone call from my bank last night alerting me that I might have someone fraudulently using my account.  Yikes!  As instructed, I called the fraud customer service line and try to get to the bottom of this.  She said that there had been an abnormal amount of activity on my account in the past few days and they needed to verify that the transactions were indeed mine.  A hold had been placed on my account just to be safe.  Okay...  She reads off a seemingly endless list of transactions.  All of them were mine.  She judged me.  I politely explained to her that there were bazillions of sales this weekend, as it is one of the busiest shopping weekends of the whole year.  I was obviously buying Christmas presents for all of the wonderful people in my life useless stuff for myself.  Tis the season, lady.  She still judged me and suggested that I not do that again.  After all, if I was spending at such a rapid pace that it would suggest fraud, that might be a problem.  She's jealous that I didn't buy her anything on Black Friday.

I think I may be coming down with a sweet case of pink eye.  Aren't I too old for this?  Let's all say a prayer that I just have itchy eyeballs.  Better yet, let's pray that my eyeballs stop itching all together.  I like that plan better.

Amen,

A