Did the doctor just hit on me?

It's Friday, Friday...  Sorry, I was having a Rebecca Black moment.

That being said, I don't really have any stories of my own to tell today, so I'm going to share one that happened to Daddy yesterday.

Daddy had a routine dermatologist appointment yesterday.  My whole family goes to see Dr. W.  She is very petite and very feisty.  She never holds back when it comes to telling what she thinks.  Dr. W also always carries around a little tape recorder and dictates her charts. [Insert back story: A few years ago, Daddy ruptured his Achilles tendon and had to have surgery to repair it.  That left a pretty large and crooked scar on the back of his leg.  So now you know.]  As part of the routine exam, Dr. W had Daddy strip down to his skivvies and lay face down on the table so that she could check for moles and whatever else dermatologists look for.  She's talking into her recorder and dictating what she sees.  She pauses and mutters, "Nice S."

(You need to read that last line out loud, and remember that Daddy is face down on the table in his skivvies.)

Get it?  She was saying he had a nice S-shaped scar but it certainly sounded like she said he had a nice ass.  I guess that story isn't quite as funny when I type it out like that.  Whatever.  I think it's funny and that's what matters.

Have a great weekend!
A

They'll stick a boot up your...Google.

Yesterday I shared with y'all that Googling the term "mexican boots" had lead people to my blog.  I thought I would try that out and I did not find my blog.

But I did find this.

Dear sirs,

Your boots are very pointy.  You look like one of Santa's skiing elves...if such a thing exists.  What are the advantages of these Ronald McDonald-esque zapatos?  PWB.  [That's Please Write Back in pen pal lingo, obvi.]

Spurs and snuggles,

A

I know about popular. And with an assist from me, to be who you'll be, instead of dreary who you were.

Five bucks if you know where that title came from.

I'm always interested to see how people stumble upon my little blog.  Most of my readers are my dear, sweet friends who read because they feel sorry for me.  Confession:  I'm a teeny bit obsessed with the stats tab in Blogger.  Through stats, I've learned a lot about my readers.

Search Keywords that brought readers to my blog:

• i used to be a little girl  [As did I.  Unless your are now a grown man...that just makes this a little--shall we say--awkward.]
• the situation to the customer  [Every time I hear "The Situation," I can't help but think of the Jersey Shore.  That is some quality television.]
• "my rent" late  [Hate it when that happens.]
• and a late night session for  [For what???? I'm dying to know!  I hate cliffhangers.]
• blonde never sneeze  [Huh?  I don't understand.]
• for me is generally  [Again...I don't understand.]
• homemade streamers  [Courtesy of Princess Fiona.  She is the best decorator I know.]
• i'm getting divorced laurie  [Right...]
• mexican boots  [I like multi-cultural shoes.]
• stop diagnosing yourself  [Preach it sista.]

I also want to say hi to all of my readers in Denmark, Jamaica, Germany, UK, Russia, Australia, Hungary, Ireland, and Portugal.  Y'all obviously recognize greatness when you see it.  Consider yourselves lucky.

Okay, I think I'm done tooting my own horn.  For now.

Adios,
A

There is a big difference between U and I.

A long-time friend of mine, SK, called me the other day to tell me a funny story.  This is why we are friends.  She works for a college in the Admissions Office and received an email from a parent checking in on their student.  Sounds pretty simple, right?

Here is what the parent meant to type: "I'm trying to get all of my ducks in a row."

Here is what the parent actually typed: "I'm trying to get all of my dicks in a row."

I died.

My question: Do you organize by length or girth?  I'm trying to firm things up, so I really need to know.

Typo love,
A


*I wrote this post yesterday but Blogger erased it.  How rude.*

There is a big difference between U and I.

A long-time friend of mine, SK, called me the other day to tell me a funny story.  This is why we are friends.  She works for a college in the Admissions Office and received an email from a parent checking in on their student.  Sounds pretty simple, right?

Here is what the parent meant to type: "I'm trying to get all of my ducks in a row."

Here is what the parent actually typed: "I'm trying to get all of my dicks in a row."

I died.

My question: Do you organize by length or girth?  I'm trying to firm things up, so I really need to know.

Typo love,
A

Doggy Daycare

I'm just gonna come out and say it.  I'm a cat person.

But not this kind of cat person.  Because that's weird. {here}

It's not that I don't like dogs.  I just have never been fond of jumpy-licky dogs.  Cats are chill and do their own thing.  A friend of mine went out of town this week and asked me to look after 3 of her 4 dogs.  They are all small dogs and they live inside her townhouse.  That sounds totally doable.  Y'all, one of the dogs wears diapers.  Like for real Pampers.  That would have been a handy detail to know.  And one of the dogs hates me.  She wants to eat my face off.  Here are the culprits.

My name is Toot.  I love to snuggle.

My name is Parker and I wear diapers because I can't control my pee.  I like to sleep under the covers because I get cold.

My name is Maddie and I will murder you.  And pee all over the carpet, right next to the potty pad., just to piss you off.

These tiny dogs are neurotic.  They make me appreciate this little nugget of mine.

Oh, hi.

After work today, the parents and I are headed to Alabama to see my Grandmother (and obvi the rest of the family) for Mother's Day.  This will be the first time we've been down there since Granddaddy died.  Thinking about it makes my heart hurt.  

That's all I have for now.  But really, how do you top dogs in diapers?  That's pretty much as exciting as it gets around here.

Go hug your mom/grandmother/aunt/etc.

Kthanksbye,
A

PS- Does anyone know a good Blogger app for the iPhone?  Does such a thing exist?

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Do me a favor: Head over here and check out this fabulous blog.  I was the lucky winner of her latest giveaway and I think Jennifer's blog is great.

Snuggles,

A